You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're like the curious george of whores
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
