Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
