I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
