It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
