"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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