dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
