You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
