you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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