no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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