What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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