So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My bed smells like the plague
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
