Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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