there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
