he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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