a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
