I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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