who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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