filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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