i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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