this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
