We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
