I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
