The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
