Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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