It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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