I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this just has baby written all over it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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