I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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