I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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