ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
