3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
