me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
