well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
