i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
