Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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