Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
