If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
