Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
