I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
