Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
