dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
People in love make me want to vomit
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
