tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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