After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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