can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
