Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
