Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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