the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
