Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hate all girls vehemently.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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