I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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