He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
