Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
