drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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