My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
